Weekly Sports Link Awesomeness Within an Awkward Internet Chat

Rather than just spoon feed readers links to interesting sports stories, the smartest sports site on the interweb likes to jazz it up a little and intermix our links within awkward conversations (that actually happen) over gchat.  Here’s this weeks, which, for one time only, actually covers various sports topics over the last year.

Erwin Winswyck: Question of the day is:  Where would you go if you were a highly touted recruit?

AJ McStavis: Easy question . . . whoever paid me the most . . . so North Carolina Football these days.

Erwin Winswyck: Wow, not Kentucky basketball?

AJ McStavis: Ooh . . . true didn't even think about switching sports.

Erwin Winswyck: Actually, I hear Memphis used to pay more.

AJ McStavis: Doubt it, they just provided other secondary benefits like taking your SAT's for you.

Erwin Winswyck: Your parents would want you to go to USC though.

AJ McStavis: And yet my attorney would want me to go to Georgia.

Erwin Winswyck: So its settled, basketball in Greece.

AJ McStavis: Sadly, I already got my high school diploma (I’m a true skollar) so that'd be a waste.  Plus I hear there’s some risks to that.

Erwin Winswyck:  Anything else that might interest you?

AJ McStavis:  Unfortunately, I probably haven't raped enough people to get offers from Missouri or Iowa and I haven't stolen enough things, punched enough people (1, 2, 3) or choked my girlfriend in order to get an offer from Oregon.

Erwin Winswyck: Nor did you do all of those things and then get kicked off a team in order to get an offer from Ole' Miss.

AJ McStavis: I wish I had the balls to do the stuff that would land me an offer from Oregon State.  Then again I don’t even know where I’d find a gay sheep, I don’t like getting tased, especially naked, and if I’m stealing a vehicle I’m going bigger than golf cart.

Erwin Winswyck:  How about settling for a middle of the pack team like Illinois, Cincinnati, UCLA, Washington, etc?

AJ McStavis: I have way too much god given talent and pride to join those messes (Week one recap: Illinois, Cincinnati, UCLA, Washington), and lets not even talk WAC, MAC, Conference USA or that other nonmajor conference, I always forget.

Erwin Winswyck:  The Big East??

AJ McStavis:  That’s the one (before week one . . . week one. . . and after week one).

Erwin Winswyck:  Well how about Kansas?  Maybe you could play both basketball and football??

AJ McStavis:  You mean North Dakota State??  Plus I don’t think the dual sport thing works at Kansas.

Erwin Winswyck:  Touche.  Well, are you sure you wouldn’t be interested in Illinois.  They got Coach Box O’ Wires???

AJ McStavis:  Pretty sure they had to let him go.

Erwin Winswyck:  Damnit.  That’s a travesty he was “one of the great minds of his generation, coaching-wise!”  So how about Michigan or Ohio St?

AJ McStavis:  Ya, I only work out a few hours a week so Michigan and the 40 hrs of practice a day are out.  Also I can’t stand sweater vests (sweaters are itchy to begin with why make one that doesn’t have sleeves so you can be both itchy and cold??).

Erwin Winswyck:  How about a 17 year deal to live in New Jersey?

AJ McStavis:  That’s about as likely as me ending up in Alaska . . . No matter where I choose, I’m definitely doing a two hour show to announce that I’m not going anywhere near Cleveland.

I’m thinking Florida or Alabama can set me up with the right people to provide the kind of cash down payment I’m looking for (Marcell Dareus, Maurkice Pouncey) without the mess that North Carolina is dealing with.  Plus I’d get the opportunity to compete for a national championship.

Erwin Winswyck:  But you’d have to live in the south.

AJ McStavis:  Point taken.

Erwin Winswyck:  So lingerie football it is?

AJ McStavis:  You read my mind.