Craigslist Ad Haikus

Editors Preface:  We here at the Sports Skollars are a sophisticated and classy bunch.  That’s why when I came up with the idea of using mock craigslist ad’s to post links to the interesting stories you may have missed, I was worried the article would come off as cheap and sketchy (b/c we all know that’s what craigslist is).  The solution for classing up craigslist???  Haikus . . . book it.

For Sale: College Athlete $150,000 OBO

Posted by Cam Newton

I cheated and stole

But I kick ass at football

“second chance”?!? for sale

Male seeking Female: Looking for Hot Team Assistant

Posted by Brett Favre

Too old for football

Here to meet hot assistants

Will send dick pictures

Editors Note:  I was a bit disappointed with Mr. Favre for his lack of originality.  This just seems all too familiar to these prior ads:

When Mario Kart Meets College Football Good Things Happen (Edit: Now With Renderings After the Jump)

Boise State’s come from behind victory yesterday against Virginia Tech was an excellent game but moreso it provided us with a stark reminder of one of the major flaws of the bcs system today.  Big name schools from major conferences absolutely dominate the college football landscape and, unfortunately for fans, these “haves” are less than thrilled to take any risks that might upset the system. 

Sure conference realignment proved that even the biggest programs are willing to explore some new options in pursuit of the almighty dollar.  However, those moves were all carefully calculated to continue to benefit those at the top.  Looking at it in terms of scheduling, when was the last time Texas, Michigan, LSU or Florida started their season with an away game at a powerful non-BCS conference school? When was the last time an SEC or Big 12 school played an away game against the likes of a Boise State, Eastern Washington or James Madison???  Stumped?  Exactly.  It hasn’t happened and the fact is its hurting college football.

I mean, who really wants to see a game between Texas and Rice here when you could have a heyday watching games on this, this or this.  By refusing to play small market schools desperate for attention, the “haves” of college football are depriving viewers of an entire spectrum, literally, of turf.  Unfortunately, traditional football is too close minded to give color a chance.  That’s right folks, the cats out of the bag.  The Sports Skollars are officially accusing college football programs and stadiums everywhere of being turf bigots.

Weekly Sports Link Awesomeness Within an Awkward Internet Chat

Rather than just spoon feed readers links to interesting sports stories, the smartest sports site on the interweb likes to jazz it up a little and intermix our links within awkward conversations (that actually happen) over gchat.  Here’s this weeks, which, for one time only, actually covers various sports topics over the last year.

Erwin Winswyck: Question of the day is:  Where would you go if you were a highly touted recruit?

AJ McStavis: Easy question . . . whoever paid me the most . . . so North Carolina Football these days.

Erwin Winswyck: Wow, not Kentucky basketball?

AJ McStavis: Ooh . . . true didn't even think about switching sports.

Erwin Winswyck: Actually, I hear Memphis used to pay more.

AJ McStavis: Doubt it, they just provided other secondary benefits like taking your SAT's for you.

Erwin Winswyck: Your parents would want you to go to USC though.

AJ McStavis: And yet my attorney would want me to go to Georgia.

Purple Hearts for On-Field Injuries Could Be Next

Nike's "Pro Combat" uniform system was unveiled this weekend for the opening of the College Football season. This system allows 10 select programs from around the country to confuse the shit out of their fans by wearing jerseys and helmets that have no real connection with their Universities' colors or traditions. It is believed that this marketing ploy began with the name "Kellen Winslow's Fucking Soldiers" but was changed to "Pro Combat" to appeal to a wider range of idiots. This dressing system has also drawn criticism from people who are offended by the equation between football and armed conflict. However, the Pro Combat system perfectly exemplifies the current landscape of College Football. Let's see, "Pro" meaning "professional" and "Combat" meaning "a fight." Now that this controversy has been sufficiently put to rest, its time to break out the Purple Hearts. What the College Football scene lacks is some type of award or recognition that is sufficiently offensive to the American population. Nike's Pro Combat system opens the doors for innovative new awards that have the capacity to both over signify athletic accomplishment and mock military service. One such award that companies from Adidas to Wilson are not considering is giving out Purple Hearts for injuries suffered during the course of a game. Too few teams are giving out helmet stickers these days and this award could really stir things up. Each player who sits out a play with cramps could be given a purple sticker in the shape of a heart to affix to his helmet The market is wide open for a sports equipment and apparel company to jump on this growing and ridiculous trend. I'm looking at you And1.